Shame on you, the know-it-all that you are! I bestow upon you a problem and, look, there it is, the answer! You reduce my most pressing adversities to subjects of analytical dissections, stripping them of their depth and complexity. You act as if you have the keys to the universe, ...

CLAYTON, MO – The divisions between WashU’s straight men have never been so deep. Timberland Boots, which had this campus in a chokehold circa 2019, have been steadily losing ground to LL Bean’s “duck boots,” a relative newcomer in the world of low-effort WashU men’s fall fashion. Our in-depth campus ...

WashU’s little-known illiteracy club launches into the public eye as they begin a new campus-wide media campaign. Students report sightings of flyers across campus, on bulletin boards, in bathroom stalls, and wedged between chicken and fries in a dining hall dish which wishes to remain anonymous.    But what is ...

Following the successes of programs like WashU Wash and WaterDrop’d, the Skandalaris Center has elected to open yet another business directed towards its prime clientele, the children of the one percent. This new small business, known as “Sue the Poors”, will provide an indispensable service to WashU students, by opening ...

“Eccentric” fails to capture the men of Tinder. They like dogs. They can quote The Office. They eat food. They are not like the rest of us, and therefore require a girl of a certain quality. A girl able to rise above the curse of her basic, homogeneous gender. Someone, ...

10. you laughed too hard at my self-deprecating joke 9. You asked me where Bolivia was in front of people 8. When i asked you if this dress made my ass look fat you said no 7. When i asked you if this dress made my ass look fat in ...

Who knew a boy named Travis finding inspiration at an amusement park called Six Flags Astroworld in the late 90s would result in a WashU sophomore looking down at her phone and being overwhelmed with a sense of mild disappointment in 2022. A Butterfly Effect indeed. Fall Wild has been ...

Joseph R. Biden is the most bribeable man alive, and the fact that we don’t let him fulfill that destiny is a travesty. Think about it: the man has the light senility and good heart (figuratively) of a horse out to pasture, and the fact that we don’t allow him ...

Look. I’m not trying to make a big deal out of this. All I’m saying is, I get home from a hard day at work, and all I want to do is sit down, have a beer, and relax with some internet encyclopedia pages about battleships. But here she comes—“she,” ...