Illiterate Student Society Launches New “guiawerhfewiuhfakjhf” Campaign

WashU’s little-known illiteracy club launches into the public eye as they begin a new campus-wide media campaign. Students report sightings of flyers across campus, on bulletin boards, in bathroom stalls, and wedged between chicken and fries in a dining hall dish which wishes to remain anonymous. 


But what is perhaps more interesting is the saturation of such flyers among Greek life residences. Preliminary statistics report nearly five times as many flyers on frat row as opposed to anywhere else on campus. Analysts believe this to be an instance of targeted outreach. When presented with the flyer which read, “guiawerhfewiuhfakjhf! Hhhhhhrngh efhgurbnst? Hbref!” SigEp brother Eddie Hamble commented, “Sorry, I don’t speak Italian.”


News of such a widespread media campaign makes sense for the Illiterate Student Society, seeing as many considered their presence at the Activities Fair a failure. In lieu of a sign, the group opted to shout their talking points to the crowd of students. Sandra Zimmermann, who was conducting a demonstration for the Peace and Meditation club at the next table, reports that, “The Illiterate club just kept screaming about how you could still enjoy Quentin Tarantino movies without being able to read. They seemed to really like that guy.”


In an effort to understand more deeply what the Illiterate Student Society plans to achieve with this new campaign, I sent a few questions to the email listed on their WUGO Presence page: I didn’t fully expect a response, so I was pleasantly surprised to hear back from them promptly. However, I was soon disappointed to realize that their reply consisted of only the following image: