Have you found walking across campus different this December? Though the leaves have fallen, the sun still shines bright above. Students still prance about campus with exposed arms, wrapping discarded sweaters around their waists. And it’s not just the usual suspects, like the men who insist on wearing shorts in ...
Read More »How to Explain Exactly What Happened to Your Spotify Wrapped This Year
Your alarm just went off, and you need a hit of dopamine to start your day. You instinctively open Instagram while hitting your Geek Bar. Instead of your typical morning Minecraft parkour Reddit stories, you are met with a rude awakening in the form of 640 Instagram stories. It is ...
Read More »OP-ED: How EST Turned Me Into An Anti-Vaxxer
On the surface, I am your average WashU student. I’m an Ivy reject, I get decent grades, and I eat an açai bowl at Collins Farms every other Wednesday. My mother is a work-from-home gynecologist, and my father runs a multi-tier combined intercontinental cryptocurrency pyramid scheme and hedge fund. I ...
Read More »Student Union Has Gone Broke: WUnderground Uncovers Student Union’s “Sugar Daddy” Outreach Program
In a shocking turn of events, the student body received notice that their own governing body is bankrupt. In a tearful speech to students, Student Union Finance Chief Janet Yellenberg announced that the school no longer has the funds to support nonessential student organizations such as Uncle Joe’s and EST, ...
Read More »Riney Loves You
On a warm July night in the summer of 2024, a group of middle school nerds attending a WashU math camp heard something strange on the way back to their dorm from a pizza party in the Women’s Building. “Waaaaahhhhhh, waaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!” A strange crying noise rang clear through the trees. ...
Read More »It’s Not Easy Being a WashU Hunk
December brings a lot of things— gifts, finals, and of course, cuffing season. With the cold seems to come the contagious desire for a boyfriend—and hey, we get it! Who doesn’t want someone to hold hands with in Whispers or hard launch on your Instagram story, earning you a whopping ...
Read More »Reader’s Guide to Workshop Day
The fateful day has finally arrived. You’re a STEM major who hasn’t had to submit a coherent sentence for a grade since College Writing: Technology & Selfhood (the latter being much harder to understand than the former). And yet now you’re here, a senior in your final semesters of college, ...
Read More »Inside the Ziggurat: WUndercover at Scientology
Authors note: I actually did go. And missed a WUnderground meeting because it took 3 hours :( Names and identifying details have been fictionalized, but this article is about 74% true. Have you ever been joyriding on the shuttle, dreamily gazing out the window, and noticed something strange at the ...
Read More »OP-ED: Christmas Just Isn’t The Same Anymore, and Frankly, It’s Time We All Did Something About It
What happened to the holiday I love? Have we forgotten where we came from? Christmas is losing its magic, and I’m not the only one who’s noticed. Ask your neighbors, your coworkers, even ask your brown-furred four legged companion. And no, it’s not just about the gifts or the decorations. ...
Read More »Missouri Ballot Measure Threatens to Ban All Gender Reveal Parties
A controversial Missouri ballot measure is garnering support across the aisle. This November at the ballot box, residents will be asked to vote “Yay” or “Nay” on articles 1-8. While sports gambling, police funding, and reproductive rights are shaping up to be contested battles, Amendment 7’s proposed ban on gender ...
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