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Volume 10 Issue 8

April 30TH

Visitors: A lot

Point/Counterpoint: Peabody Sit-in

Hey, everybody! I heard there's FREE pizza at the sit-in! It looks pretty good, too...

Citing Conflicting Finals, Student Asks for Extension on Birthday Shot at Blueberry Hill

With three finals coinciding on the day after her 21st birthday, and considering her history of debilitating hangovers, Junior Sophia Marek...

Report: "Student Body" Actually Refers to One Student's Body

A recent ethnographic study at Washington University has revealed that the colloquial expression "student body"...

Freshman Relieved to Have Survived Entire Year with Random Roommate, Satan Jr., The Prince of Darkness

Although he admits it was not always easy, freshman Mike Daniels is relieved to finally be moving out of the freshman dorm room he shared with his random roommate, the spawn of Satan...

Fraternity Burns Down After Refusing to Let Firefighters in during a "Closed Event"

An unfortunately timed fire broke out last Thursday night during a "closed event" at a campus fraternity house...

Point/Counterpoint: Medieval

Okay, I'm just going to stick my neck out there and say that the point is undoubtedly the best...

Pre-Frosh Decides On Losing Her Virginity At WashU

Following a campus tour that took place last week, prospective student Stephanie Johnson decided that Washington University in St. Louis is officially where she wants to lose her virginity...

Traditional Dorms to Get Even More Traditional

In a move that has shocked and excited students, Residential Life recently announced that this summer, the South Forty's traditional dorms will be renovated to evoke an even more traditional ambiance...