Freshman Invites Girlfriend to Dinner with LAUNCH family

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Local freshman James Harding was nervous on Tuesday evening; his girlfriend, Tanya Reed, would be meeting his LAUNCH family for the first time. “It’s a big step for us going forward,” Harding admitted. “But I want to share that piece of my life with her.” The couple discussed the decision ...

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This One College Hack Will Change Your Life

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College life can be stressful as heck. You need to get ahead every way you can. Luckily, we’ve got you covered. This one, simple life hack will revolutionize the way you study for tests. We can guarantee results! Okay, buckaroo, here’s what you do first: log in to WebStac. Have ...

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Sexy Singles Near You Are at Risk of Losing Net Neutrality!

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Local sluts are at risk of becoming victims of the FCC’s net neutrality repeal plan. Service providers seeking to limit freedom of expression on the Internet may get their way this week, when the FCC hopes to repeal its net neutrality rules by party-line vote and compromise the intentions of ...

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Santa to Bring Coal to Naughty Miners


A coal mine in eastern Wyoming has found a holiday- themed solution to get out of work once and for all. On December 6th, mine worker Gary Sherwood realized that by acting up on the job he would be obliging Santa Claus to bring him coal for the holidays. “According ...

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God Suspended Due to Hazing Incident


God has been temporarily suspended from the known universe after several reports of a violent hazing incident this past weekend. Under the euphemistic guise of a “faith-building exercise,” God is alleged to have commanded Abraham, a pledge, to climb a mountain and murder his son, Isaac. Rumors of God’s hazing ...

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Senior “Not Like Those Other Guys”


Sources close to the subject report that Wash U senior Jasper Simmons is nothing like all those other assholes. “Jasper doesn’t care about typical guy stuff like fantasy football and grilling things,” points out sophomore Lena Smith. “He would much rather teach you about Sufjan Stevens and the merits of ...

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One Year After the Election: Where Are They Now?

On November 8, 2016, Donald Trump won the presidency of the United States, bringing an end to a roller coaster of election drama that lasted over two years. One year later, WUnderground checked in with some of the 2016 race’s most important figures. Here’s where they are now. Hillary Rodham ...

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