According to sources close to your roommate, they are just as excited to stop living with you as you are to stop living with them. The same sources also confirmed that you are incorrect to believe that your roommate still likes you even though you complain about them to anyone ...

After a long break from the limelight, Dave Chappelle is back in action with a new Netflix series. The eponymously named series currently has two episodes, each with a runtime of one hour. Both episodes are superb, with Chappelle discussing contemporary issues that are totally relatable. However, Chappelle’s stand-up is ...

Writing last week in Studlife that the upscale Clayton restaurant Pastaria is a “must-try,” sophomore Studlife reporter Tommy Wright is in hot water, being criticized for “cultural appropriation.” Tommy, whose father is a plumber and mom is a secretary, decided to write about Pastaria after hearing about it from floormates. ...

Recently returned from a tour of duty in Afghanistan, US Army Sniper Sgt. Eric Wexler has reportedly been dropping hints that he plans on “taking out” his longtime girlfriend Kim Harris on Valentine’s Day this year. “Ever since we got back from Afghanistan, all he can talk about is how ...

1.) She has a cellphone. 2.) She answers emails from her private email server 3.) She holds the door open for unsuspecting strangers 3b). She stayed back to talk to the professor office hours 4.) She knows how to give suspiciously good back rubs, as if she’s been practicing with ...

Well it’s that time of year again: porno awards season! Hollywood is abuzz with buzz, and critics are slurping up films like particularly delicious semen. Female pornstars are dressing up real nice, and male pornstars are showing off their finest designer assless chaps. Redheaded pornstars finally get to walk down ...

       ST LOUIS- Reports of strange activity linked to members of Beary Stiff, the campus taxidermy club, were met with further investigation after maintenance staff stumbled upon a preserved student corpse on Friday afternoon. Sources say that freshman student Josh Tambor was found mummified in a 2nd floor Olin study room, ...

  Last weekend, upon accepting a bid to Wash U’s Gamma Upsilon Chapter of the Theta Omega Epsilon International Women’s Fraternity, freshman Ariella Rosenfeld made an alarming discovery: around 150 sisters, which she had not previously known to exist– and they were all hers. Annie, who grew up ostensibly as ...

In advance of housing petitions opening, Student Health Services has hired some of the world’s top surgeons to mitigate the school’s annual rooming-inspired mass casualties. “Each year anywhere between fifty and one hundred underclassmen are killed by former suitemates,” claimed SHS director Ira Glass. “Although we can’t stop the coordinated ...

WashU’s social programming board announced Wednesday that their decision for Spring WILD is still under heavy debate. After failing to produce a Fall WILD, SPB feels pressure to deliver a high profile artist for this spring’s concert. We asked SPB representative Jessica Higgins for a quote, to which she replied ...