10 Signs Your Girlfriend is Cheating on You

1.) She has a cellphone.

2.) She answers emails from her private email server

3.) She holds the door open for unsuspecting strangers

3b). She stayed back to talk to the professor office hours

4.) She knows how to give suspiciously good back rubs, as if she’s been practicing with THAT NO GOOD CARL FROM HER OFFICE

5.) She goes down on you regularly as if she’s trying to compensate

6) She rides a bicycle with a really uncomfortable seat LIKE CARL DIDNT TEACH HER HOW TO RIDE A BIKE THAT NO GOOD SHIT HEAD

7.) She blinks like, every 8 seconds

8.) She sends you requests to play 8 Ball Pool AS IF SHE’S NOT ALSO SENDING THOSE TO THAT NO GOOD SHIT HEAD CARL

9.) Her favorite food is Kraft Mac n’ Cheese, which is also CARL’S FAVORITE FOOD YOU MOTHERFUCKER

10.) You walk in on her tripping and falling onto CARL’S DICK IN YOUR OWN BED AND LEFT A WET SPOT THE SIZE OF FUCKING AFRICA, AND THEY DON’T EVEN HAVE WATER IN AFRICA

10b.) She gets a care package from her family