Alternately gazing out at the parking lot and admiring his newly-acquired yellow belt, area eight-year-old Kevin O’Brien is the last kid from his Tiger Schulman Karate class waiting to be picked up, according to reports. “Yeah, my stepdad should be on his on his way,” reassured O’Brien. “Dennis is usually ...

10. This one Tiger stripes? Sick.   9. This guy: Shit looks fast as fuck.   8. This freak of nature: Is this still even a helicopter? Couldn’t tell you, but it’s certified dope.   7. This: OH FUCK THIS THING LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING BUG THAT’S METAL AS HELL ...

In a move that has already drawn criticism from the student body, SU has decided to cancel next fall’s Ursa’s Fireside Poker Night in due to conflicts with the upcoming presidential debate. The event, lauded as the highlight of approximately twelve freshmen’s semesters this year, is unfortunately at the mercy ...

Relay for Your Life, a new philanthropy event planned for the upcoming school year, has been riddled with concerns since its inception. Through Relay for Your Life bears many similarities to the already-existing Relay for Life, the new event differs in that those participants who walk the shortest distance must ...

Saying that it would “make benefit glorious nation of Kazakhstan,” dads across the nation expressed hope that quoting Sacha Baron Cohen’s 2006 film Borat would soon be cool again. The film, which traces the journey of Kazakh reporter Borat Sagdiyev on his quest to kidnap 90s TV star Pamela Anderson, ...

Pitchfork – 8.3./10 Best New Review – Penned after just three full listens of the album, Pitchfork’s Jason Greene dispenses an engrossing chronicle of West’s musical bildungsroman. His varying sentence construction and periodic employment of italics demonstrate his commitment to his modus operandi. The one inhibiting quality of Greene’s assessment ...

To the Washington University Community, We are thrilled to announce our petition for the purchase of a WUnderground house. For those of you fortunate enough to have so far avoided our incessant online and in-person harassment, we are applying for $1.38 million in block funding from Student Union, funds we ...

Discussing her spring schedule over lunch in the faculty lounge, Professor Leslie Jenkins told her friends that she was considering dropping the course she’s teaching, “Environmental Culture and Social Principles in the 21st Century.” “I dunno, I just have a really busy schedule this semester is all,” said Jenkins, who ...

Besmirching the sacred covenant of the bro code, wussy-ass TSA Officer Richard Thurmond refused to drop to one knee and chug when presented with a Smirnoff Ice at Lambert Airport on Monday morning. The Ice, which Officer Thurmond discovered during a routine body cavity search, was hidden deep within the ...