Inspiring: This Social Justice Warrior Could Save Us All

ST. LOUIS, MO—Washington University Student and proud Chaco wearer Harley Jensen might be the hero this crumbling planet needs.  “Harley works tirelessly to redeem our vice-ridden society,” says a source close to the subject. “From retweeting Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to posting snapshots of the Amazon’s burnt husk, she fights to bring ...

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Ad Council Debuts Reverse Psychology Anti-Smoking Campaign

In an innovative marketing move, the Ad Council debuted a series of PSA’s last week using reverse psychology to fight teen smoking. The campaign, titled “Smoke You Pussy,” hopes to incite anti-authority reactions in the nation’s rebellious teens. Ads featured will contain images of teens portrayed as popular, attractive, and ...

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Sesame Street Foreclosures Escalate Neighborhood Tensions

Hostilities reached a tipping point on Sesame Street last Thursday when yet another forced eviction drew police presence to the neighborhood. Tenant and local barber Theodore PoodleDoodle refused to vacate his property upon arrival of foreclosure agents, enlisting help from neighbors to incite a riot. Witnesses describe a standoff between ...

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LEAKED: Student Union Fall Game Day Calendar 2019

Building off the success of their Football and Baseball Game Day tailgates, members of Student Union have decided to expand the Game Day program to other, more niche, campus events. Who knew all you needed was alcohol, free food, and the tacit endorsement of Greek Life to host a successful ...

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