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Hey, freshman! Yeah bro, you right there. Way you’re walking, looks like the only thing you’ve been crushing this semester is tap water. I get it I get it, things are dry these days: no Big Daddy’s, no TKE basement, no Chem PLTL. Most of the girls in your life ...

WASHINGTON D.C. — At an unplanned press conference on Friday, CDC Director Robert Redfield informed Americans that right now the most constructive thing to do in response to the Coronavirus is panic, absolutely panic. Sweating and panting uncontrollably, the visibly frightened CDC Director told Americans to just “freak the fuck ...

ST. LOUIS—In a recent address to the Class of 2020, Chancellor Martin somberly announced that Washington University has made the difficult decision to postpone commencement until the afterlife. “It is with a heavy heart that I share with you that due to the COVID-19 pandemic, a graduation ceremony will not ...

The following op-ed was submitted by a guest writer who has chosen to remain anonymous. He has asked WUnderground staff to list him under the pen name “‘Mandrew Artin’, or some shit like that.” Guys, you might not believe this, but Chancellor Andrew Martin? Surprisingly jacked. Yeah. I saw him ...

That’s it, liberals. I’ve simply had enough. You’ve crossed the line. I am indignant. You’ve always been pushing it with your politics….everyday I’ve had to hear this and that about you and your “progressivism,” but I just won’t stand for it anymore. I am simply furious. I am writing this, ...