WUnderground WashU's Premier (and only) satirical newspaper!

This piece was rejected by the Danforth Dispatch. So much for supporting freedom of tho(ugh)t. In a society dominated by extremes, the plight of middle children is something that’s been consistently ignored. Constantly overlooked and undervalued, middle children are the backbone of society. And we demand reparations for the pain ...

I am the “Miracle of Life” baby all grown up. Remember watching the projected image of my head emerging from the womb on your 6th grade classroom whiteboard? Who can forget? My transformation from a microscopic cell to a glistening, incarnadine bundle was a special moment in time. While many ...

With the canceling of on-campus events, in-person classes, and group activities, it’s easy to see why many WashU students are less than thrilled. However, some optimistic students are planning to make the most of this extra free time. One such student is sophomore Sal Aguiar. “Oh yeah, this is the ...

Since their installation in the Bear’s Den, much invective has been hurled at the humble salad robots, none of it merited. The Salad Robot is objectively the best option for salad-serving. First, it provides options that human workers cannot. Try finding a minimum-wage worker willing to sing me a little ...