SubMarines: New Delmar Cafe Hires Only Vets With Extreme PTSD

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In an effort to ease veterans back into the workforce, a new local eatery called “SubMarines” is exclusively hiring former soldiers who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). To smooth their transition, owner Tex “Sarge” Denver tries to find common ground between their experiences in the field of war and ...

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Last Freshman Finally Disenchanted with WashU

Sniffling hopelessly over the stream of tears that drenched the remains of her taco salad, freshman Emily Weitzman finally became the last member of the Class of 2019 to abandon her hopeful image of Washington University. The soggy, lukewarm appropriation of Mexican food was the last straw, according to reports, ...

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Wrighton Addresses Concerns with Salary Reform for Adjunct Professors

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Facing criticism over reports that he’s been training his golden retriever to attack students who receive need-based financial aid, Chancellor Wrighton held a press conference this week to clarify his position on the University’s economic issues. A source within the Wrighton Administration revealed that the move was made in response ...

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“Safest WILD Ever” sees 30% drop in students attacked by crocodiles

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Last weekend’s Fall WILD saw remarkable improvements in safety, with record few students suffering crocodile attack related injuries. The numbers are 30% lower than the previous record, leading SPB president Leo Park to declare this the “safest WILD ever.”   “We’re really proud of what we accomplished this year safety-wise,” ...

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Connie to Add Glass to All Campus Sweets

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Connie Diekman of Dining Services has been quietly rolling out her plan this past week to include shards of glass in all baked goods sold on campus.   “I’ve tried everything that I could think of to get these kids to eat healthy, but not single flier I’ve put in ...

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WUnderground’s Guide to Greek Life

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We at WUnderground understand how difficult it can be for new students to navigate the many Greek institutions at WashU. Luckily the 10 groups with houses are the only ones that matter, but even among them keeping track of all those thetas and zetas can be tough. To help you ...

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