WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
September, 2012
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14 September
Freshman’s Sex Life Not Living Up to Expectations
Six weeks into his college career, Freshman Matt Blake’s sex life has failed to live up to his expectations. Despite the popular media’s depiction of college as a time for wild parties and unrestrained sexual deviance, Blake says that his experience has been overwhelmingly disappointing. “Where are the tits?” a ...
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14 September
Professional Wrestling Marred by Replacement Referees
The ongoing strike by International Wrestling Federation referees has forced the league to hire replacement officials, but some believe that the new officials are unprepared for the frantic pace of the sport. Many wrestlers have already come forward to complain about the referees. “These scabs are terrible!” said former World ...
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14 September
Chancellor Wrighton Relieved of Duties After Allegations of Glow Stick Fraud Surface
The Washington University  Board of Directors announced today that it has unanimously voted to relieve Mark S. Wrighton of his duties as Chancellor. The announcement comes after allegations surfaced that the former Chancellor lied about inventing the glow stick on his resume. “I am extremely disappointed by these recent findings,” ...