WUnderground WashU's Premier (and only) satirical newspaper!

Republican presidential hopeful and Muppet surgeon Ben Carson made waves Thursday with his daring new plan to stop women from getting abortions. Building on the logic of his controversial comment about mass shootings from early October, the doctor argued that fetuses should take a more aggressive stance against their attackers. ...

Describing the event as “one of the more harrowing experiences of [her] young life,” sophomore, Eliza Furman, recounted how a routine weekly call to her grandmother took a turn for the worse when her aging Bubbe refused to allow the conversation to end.   The call began as normal, with ...

A recent investigation investigation conducted by Student Life, WashU’s premier [only] nonsatirical independent student newspaper, studied why leaves have been changing colors and suspiciously disappearing from trees, concluding campus fraternities were behind the stunt. The two-week-long investigation included thorough questioning of eye-witnesses, a comprehensive student survey, and other strategies often ...

WashU’s environmental friendliness has always been a source of pride for the administration and student body. Over the past few years the school removed every trash can from campus, forbade all students and alums from ever purchasing SUVs, and stopped selling bottled water. In recognition of these exceptional steps, the ...