WGSS Professor Fails Student’s Essay: “Not Enough Jargon”

This past Friday, WGSS Professor Taylor Reed handed back graded essays to their Women and Gender Studies class. When senior Jack Freeman was handed his essay, he was shocked to see a big F at the top. Freeman, who is taking the class to fulfill his “social differentiation” ArtSci requirement, was confused at comments such as “too coherent!!” and “why didn’t you use a bigger word here???” marked throughout his essay.

“Most papers I read are so poorly written and jargon-ridden that I have absolutely no idea what the writer is getting at,” Professor Reed told Wunderground in an interview. “Freeman’s essay, on the other hand, was straightforward and easy to read. There was no nonsensical logical jumps, no references of something anecdotal being ‘systematic,’ and he didn’t even ramble on about something being ‘problematic!’ After reading the essay and coming away with a more nuanced view of the world, I just had to fail him.”

After his Friday class, Freeman took his paper to the WGS department chair, who affirmed Professor Reed’s marking. The department chair explained to Freeman that since they were new on campus, the WGSS department had to remain as complicated and enigmatic as possible. “That way, we can publish essays that sound smart but don’t really mean anything! Isn’t that so clever?” the chair told Freeman.

Planning to graduate in December, Freeman is now worried about his future. While he had received offers from Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan Chase, and Deloitte, he will not be able to graduate or accept these offers if he fails his gender studies class. As of press time, Freeman was seen poring over dictionaries to find fancier words to use in his upcoming essay, titled “Queering The North American Diaspora: A Multi-Faceted Approach to Sexuality.”