WUnderground WashU's Premier (and only) satirical newspaper!

Wednesday Tonight’s move: Theta Omega presents Cultural Appropriation and Patriarchal Domination Break out your burqas and your daddy issues! Theta O is taking all you sluts down a trail of beers at their next open party! So bring your amigas and let’s get this fiesta pumpin’, unless you’re too much ...

Returning to his apartment on the Loop after a late night study session, junior Matt Smith was carjacked at gunpoint last Saturday night. The thief made off with Smith’s 2012 Range Rover, iPhone 6S Plus, wallet, and backpack containing his laptop and binder. The total value of stolen goods is ...

In an effort to take advantage of the beautiful spring blooms across campus, WashU’s PR Department is encouraging all attractive minority students to do their homework together, preferably in the vicinity of colorful flora during daylight hours. In a press release, the department called for every study group to contain ...

Alternately gazing out at the parking lot and admiring his newly-acquired yellow belt, area eight-year-old Kevin O’Brien is the last kid from his Tiger Schulman Karate class waiting to be picked up, according to reports. “Yeah, my stepdad should be on his on his way,” reassured O’Brien. “Dennis is usually ...

10. This one Tiger stripes? Sick.   9. This guy: Shit looks fast as fuck.   8. This freak of nature: Is this still even a helicopter? Couldn’t tell you, but it’s certified dope.   7. This: OH FUCK THIS THING LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING BUG THAT’S METAL AS HELL ...