WashU to Require Security Guards for Registered Dorm Parties

WashU to Require Security Guards for Registered Dorm Parties

Citing changes to social policy, the Office of Residential Life will require hired security for registered dorm parties, effective October 2018. Former campus policies had permitted students to host personal social events, provided their RAs didn’t give a shit. According to new policy, security aides will be responsible for checking student IDs, and…
Read More
Med Students Discover Rare Pathogen Amongst StudLife Staffers

Med Students Discover Rare Pathogen Amongst StudLife Staffers

In a stunning discovery, WashU medical students identified a rare pathogen on Friday known to be wreaking havoc among the Student Life publication staff. Coined “bad journalism” by sophomore Trevor Dietrich, the rare phenomenon continues to spread amongst members of the paper’s roster and shows no signs of stopping. “The disease stems from…
Read More
Leading Together Campaign Raises Historic $3.378 Billion Dollars to be Buried in Underground Vault, Never to See the Light of Day

Leading Together Campaign Raises Historic $3.378 Billion Dollars to be Buried in Underground Vault, Never to See the Light of Day

Washington University’s Leading Together fundraising campaign concluded on June 30th, far exceeding expectations by soliciting over $3.378 billion in gifts and commitments to be promptly locked in a vault and buried far beneath the surface of the earth. In an August 30th email to the Washington University community, Chancellor Mark Wrighton expressed his…
Read More