Johnson exclaimed, “If you don’t appreciate 'The Tonight Dough' then you’re a fucking psycho.”

Unfazed by Debate Rejection, Johnson Forges Ahead in Campaign

As the University prepares itself for the upcoming presidential debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, an increased sense of excitement can be felt throughout campus. Less excited, however, is Libertarian Party candidate Gary Johnson, who failed to gain the 15% support in national polls needed to be invited to the debate.

With his schedule freed up, Gary Johnson delivered a press conference last weekend detailing his plans for the rest of the campaign season. At the press conference, Johnson said he was taking his rejection “in stride.”

“Yeah, I didn’t see this coming, but it’ll be nice to finally have a night off. [The media] has really been on my tail, so it will be great to get a little me time,” Johnson told reporters while cracking open his second pint of Ben and Jerry’s. “Really it’s the best of both worlds: I won’t be on stage making a fool of myself, and I’ll be able to catch up on The Bachelor.”

His campaign team is still actively preparing Johnson for upcoming debates in case he passes the 15% threshold. However, at Johnson’s request, the team has abandoned practicing behind a podium and Johnson now spends “hours” debating a pretend Hillary and Trump in the shower. As of press time, his team reports Johnson holding a 10% win rate in these practice debates.