President Obama Can’t Wait to Jerk Off


Though he assured the public that it won’t affect the quality of his work, President Obama admitted on Tuesday that it has been about five years since he last masturbated, and that he can’t wait to get out of the White House so he can “finally settle down for a ...

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Unpaid Intern Excited to Show off Office Perks

For someone who performs more than 80 hours per week of unpaid labor for a company that can afford to give its executives seven-figure salaries, Charlie Thomas sure is proud of his office perks, according to his friends and Instagram followers. The rising senior, who is just finishing up a ...

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Top 10 Crime Prevention Tips

10. Most people fall into a life of crime because they had a poor education. Ask suspicious persons what Atticus Finch represents about the American spirit. 9. Never leave your room. 8. Try to avoid displays of wealth, like wearing ashy jewelry and attend- ing a school that costs more ...

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