WUnderground WashU's Premier (and only) satirical newspaper!
There’s currently so much pressure to have an internship to get you ready for Goldman starting your first summer, but when the career coaches tell you it’s no worries, they just want to make their jobs easier! And they do. Despite your greatest efforts, you’ll probably get that $800 camp counselor job if you’re lucky, so while you’re here, take a few tips from me!
There are so many valuable lessons you can take away from your first-year experiences pretending you were able to get into more than two frat parties when you brag to all of your high school friends. And all of these critical skills can be applied to your new counselor position.
Trade da boyz for adorable 6-year-olds (throwback to boys actually being cute… not in a creepy way), trade beer-coated floors for piss-coated grass, spray paint on walls for crayon where it’s not supposed to be, and too much tongue (also not in a creepy way), and take a look at your future that’s as bright as every other glow themed frat party!
Many of the “rules of the house” can also be applied as “rules of the cabin”… let’s take a look:
- Rule number one, remember, the boys only want to play games
- Number two, you will ALWAYS end the evening weak in the knees
- And number three, if he calls you mommy, there are underlying issues
But do take note, while at camp the boys can be both cute and immature, at the frat they are just immature, so let that be a lesson to remember that when he tells you you’re stepping in a puddle of beer, he also mentioned that he broke the seal at 8 pm. Good luck out there and go get ‘em!
Xoxo,
WUnderground Sweetheart
