We Killed the Easter Bunny, Here’s How

This fucker wasn’t easy.   When life hands you lemons, you make lemonade.  When life hands you fifty pounds of fireworks, 320 carrots and more chocolate than Augustus Gloop could handle, you do the only sensible thing and kill that hopping rabbit motherfucker.  About all these supplies – let’s just say ...

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St. Louis MLS Team Somehow Relegated to DIII

Heartbreak has already befallen St. Louis’s newly-awarded Major League Soccer team before their first season has even begun. The team, which has yet to be named, has somehow already been relegated to Division III of the NCAA. The announcement has raised concerns and confusion, considering the MLS operates outside of ...

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Inspiring: This Social Justice Warrior Could Save Us All

ST. LOUIS, MO—Washington University Student and proud Chaco wearer Harley Jensen might be the hero this crumbling planet needs.  “Harley works tirelessly to redeem our vice-ridden society,” says a source close to the subject. “From retweeting Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to posting snapshots of the Amazon’s burnt husk, she fights to bring ...

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