WUnderground WashU's Premier (and only) satirical newspaper!

In a groundbreaking new experiment, WashU researchers have found a unique use for circumcised foreskin as skin grafts for burn victims. Lead researcher and BME postdoc Richard Johnson remembers: “A male student approached me in tears, because he didn’t know what had happened to his foreskin. Then I felt inspired. ...

This was the 24th consecutive night I have been jolted awake screaming, cowering in my bed, guarding my face expecting to see her bob-haircut and floral scarf blowing in the cold wind gusting through my window. In the moments before I awake, I am trembling. She clasps my shoulders with ...

Desperate times call for desperate measures. As full-time enrollment has dwindled this semester due to the rise of the COVID-19 virus, the University has encountered a large loss of revenue. In an attempt to combat this budget deficit, Chancellor Martin has turned to one of the internet’s fastest growing self-employment ...

“C’mon!” groans Earl Garthwell, a five foot six sophomore chemistry major at WashU. “What am I supposed to do?” he asks, slamming his phone on a DUC table, “take them all sitting down?!”  With its social distancing requirements, the coronavirus pandemic has derailed the sexual and romantic lives of WashU’s ...

Hope Hicks, the White House’s communications director, may seem like an unlikely choice for the post-modern feminist hero. Ms. Hicks has always been cast aside as a background player in the mayhem of this presidential administration. But this week, she has clearly proven to all young girls in America that ...