The First Year Center has just released its yearly report on the first years’ transition into the WashU community and has found that the class of 2025 is deeply confused by how often circumcision is discussed on campus. Unable to tour before applying last year, the new cohort of bears claim that they…

A startling realization, as it has come to me through neither divine inspiration nor careful research, is the cyclical nature of many contemporary conversations, various articles, and even debates. These resources, while well intentioned and well-written, add little substance to the discourse at play. Favoring a winding, complex sentence structure and superfluous verbiage,…

Our administrative sources are reporting that the class of 2026’s summer reading program will be Vatsyayana’s Kama Sutra. An ostensibly controversial choice, the decision aligns with WashU’s commitment to teach people things they will never get the opportunity to use. Many students expressed eagerness to learn more about sensuality, tragically unaware that it…

PSA: This article is not meant to take away from the ever-present issue of male circumcision, it serves only to bring light to the similar issue of coffee mug slogans excluding men. Feminism has gone too far, and nowhere is this trend more obvious than in the hallowed American institution of coffee mug…

Virgo: Look out! Love is in the air. Better catch it, lest you live life loveless and alone. If you can’t catch it, duck.   Libra: Watch out for sharks. And cars. And the unstoppable drumbeat of each passing second. Better yet, just stay at home today.   Scorpio: Goat day! Memorize these facts to…