Editor’s Note: One of Our Co-Presidents, really, really did not want this article published, for fear that it would ruin the “integrity” of our publication. But in a moment of triumph in this world of darkness, the voices of the powerless masses rose in a blissful chorus, and the staff ignited ...
Read More »Op-Ed: I Think That’s Problematic
I think those views are very problematic. For one thing, they have issues. For another thing, they contain all sorts of flaws. It is a logical fallacy to believe those views. Moreover, the person who has those views is extremely problematic. Their worldview is skewed. They are a problematic figure ...
Read More »Skymall Presents: White Noise Machine for Realists
From the makers of the original White Noise Machine designed to lull users into a gentle slumber, Skymall presents a new and revolutionary White Noise Machine for Realists. The product is set to hit stores this December, complete with several new pragmatic, true-to-life settings. For the environmentalists out there, the ...
Read More »Trump Pardons McChicken Sandwich He Was Going to Eat
In a moment of deep and profound mercy, President Donald Trump decided to pardon the McChicken he had planned on eating in honor of the Thanksgiving Holiday. Citing his Christian faith and sudden hankering for a McFish, Trump announced that he would allow the McChicken sandwich, a processed and somewhat ...
Read More »WashU Criticized for Gentrification of Culturally Vibrant Hole
WashU has recently come under fire for gentrifying the “East End,” a culturally vibrant hole with a storied history of being big. Many residents of the hole have been priced out of the neighborhood and forced to relocate. Critics are castigating WashU for displacing hundreds of dirt particles, part-time construction ...
Read More »