In a stunning discovery, WashU medical students identified a rare pathogen on Friday known to be wreaking havoc among the Student Life publication staff. Coined “bad journalism” by sophomore Trevor Dietrich, the rare phenomenon continues to spread amongst members of the paper’s roster and shows no signs of stopping. “The ...
Read More »Leading Together Campaign Raises Historic $3.378 Billion Dollars to be Buried in Underground Vault, Never to See the Light of Day
Washington University’s Leading Together fundraising campaign concluded on June 30th, far exceeding expectations by soliciting over $3.378 billion in gifts and commitments to be promptly locked in a vault and buried far beneath the surface of the earth. In an August 30th email to the Washington University community, Chancellor Mark ...
Read More »Avengers: Infinity War: Good, but No Fight Club
WUndergound’s Arts & Culture staff was lucky enough to receive a press pass to the highly anticipated Avengers: Infinity War. Our spoiler-free verdict: very entertaining film, but does not hold a candle to David Fincher’s Fight Club. Avengers: Infinity War is the culmination of an expansive, 10-year cinematic universe, that ...
Read More »God Suspended Due to Hazing Incident
God has been temporarily suspended from the known universe after several reports of a violent hazing incident this past weekend. Under the euphemistic guise of a “faith-building exercise,” God is alleged to have commanded Abraham, a pledge, to climb a mountain and murder his son, Isaac. Rumors of God’s hazing ...
Read More »Senior “Not Like Those Other Guys”
Sources close to the subject report that Wash U senior Jasper Simmons is nothing like all those other assholes. “Jasper doesn’t care about typical guy stuff like fantasy football and grilling things,” points out sophomore Lena Smith. “He would much rather teach you about Sufjan Stevens and the merits of ...
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