Obituaries
15
Feb

Obituaries

Hulk the Second from the Lopata House, Village, passed away on Tuesday, January 24, 2023. He was one month and seventeen days old.  Hulk was hatched from his aquatic egg sack in early December. At least, his owners hope so. Otherwise, he sat in that shit-filled Petco fish tank way longer than any…
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15
Feb

Annual Letter from Your Midwestern Grandma

Annual Letter from Your Midwestern Grandma   Dearest Eldest (or Blondest) Grandchild,  Seasonal greetings from [Insert region that begins with “Central”]. I rarely get to see you because your heretical parents keep you from me, and apparently, your generation does not “do” telegrams. As such, I will tell you about my year–2022–in extreme…
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Little Asshole Thinks He’s Something Special
15
Feb

Little Asshole Thinks He’s Something Special

Well, if it isn’t the belle of the ball.  In a stunning display of injustice, Mom and Dad–I mean someone else’s mom and dad–have lowered their standards for praise. Now, and here is the kicker, they haven’t lowered their standards for me, just my– I mean someone else’s–little brother. What’s that thing called…
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Chancellor Andrew Martin and Monica Lewinsky Celebrate Kwanzaa at WashU
24
Dec

Chancellor Andrew Martin and Monica Lewinsky Celebrate Kwanzaa at WashU

We outsourced this article to ChatGPT and asked it to write a funny story about the title subject. Remember, AI will steal your job, then your quirky side passions. Chancellor Andrew Martin and Monica Lewinsky were both in for a surprise when they arrived at Washington University in St. Louis to celebrate Kwanzaa.…
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