Freshman Girl Discovers 150 “Long-lost Sisters;” Confronts Parents


Last weekend, upon accepting a bid to Wash U’s Gamma Upsilon Chapter of the Theta Omega Epsilon International Women’s Fraternity, freshman Ariella Rosenfeld made an alarming discovery: around 150 sisters, which she had not previously known to exist– and they were all hers. Annie, who grew up ostensibly as an only child, recounted, “I could tell throughout recruitment that I had a connection with the girls in Theta O, but when I accepted my bid, I finally understood why– they were my long-lost sisters. I have never felt such a sense of belonging in my life.” However, Ariella’s exciting initial revelation was followed by a much more unsettling realization. She testified: “I realized that my parents must have known about all my other sisters all these years– why would they hide the joy of sisterhood from me? I was confused, upset, and above all, angry. I decided to confront them.”

Ariella’s father, Adam Rosenfeld, describes the encounter, which played out over the phone the night Ariella accepted her bid, as “concerning, to say the least. She was also pretty clearly hammered.” Her mother, Sarah, adds, “Ari’s conclusions confirmed all the reservations I had about her joining Greek Life.” However, her parents’ denial of her allegations and their gentle reminder that her sorority sisters are all more or less the same age as her merely led her to an even more disturbing recognition: that her father must have kept hundreds of concubines before Ariella was born. She reasoned, “He must have kept them secret from my mother somehow! How could he betray her, and how could she be so oblivious! Or was she okay with it or something?”

Ariella’s series of unpleasant discoveries only raise more questions. “How many more of my sisters might there be out there? Theta O has more than 200,000 sisters all over the country! Is this even bigger than I thought? Is this some sort of Genghis Khan thing?” For the time being, though, Ariella is mostly happy to be part of her sisterhood. “I love all my newly found sisters. It’s just too bad about this whole thing with my parents. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust them again, or forgive them. I guess I just have to come to terms with what happened and make up for lost time with my girls. Let’s hit the Row, ladies!”