Issue 9.1

Scientists Discover Life on Fontbonne Campus

A team of researchers from Washington University in St. Louis’s Earth and Planetary Sciences Department rocked the scientific community Monday when they announced the discovery of carbon-based life forms on the Fontbonne University campus. The discovery came late Thursday evening when Sapphire, the 2.4 billion dollar robot sent to explore ...

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Top 10 Mistakes Freshmen Make

10. Farting in the library 9. Being caught masturbating by your roommate 8. Asking how strong the punch is at a party 7. Believing the guy who tells you it isn’t that strong 6. Asking why the frat house soda is sticky 5. Taking ALL the free condoms from your hallway cause you’re “totally gunna ...

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