By Geoff Caulfield
I am a male feminist. Think it’s funny? Go ahead, laugh. But while you’re laughing, just know that I am brave and I am strong. Strong enough to use two women as weights and bench press them. I am a male feminist and this is what I stand for:
“I demand equal pay” is what I would say if women worked the hard, boy jobs, like engineer or racecar driver.
I believe a true woman isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty, whether that be while she’s finger painting or rolling the meatballs for husband’s dinner.
Am I misogynistic? No. I’m Mrs. Sogynistic.
Am I sex positive? Why don’t you ask my prostitutes.
How do I use my male privilege to be an ally to marginalized identities? Hey—would you ask a woman that question?
I believe women. And like a true feminist that believes in the equality of the sexes, I equally believe men. That’s why I choose to remain impartial to the #MeToo movement.
I believe in equal opportunities for men and women…unless men called dibs on the opportunities, in which case the men deserve the opportunities. You can bet your bottom 79-cents-to-a-dollar that I believe in dibs. It’s the one thing I respect more than women.
Women shouldn’t adhere to roles that are expected or considered “normal.” Normal is just a setting on the washing machine. The woman who does my laundry once told me that.
Ladies: smile. This is what feminism is.
I am brave. I am strong.
I am a Male Feminist.