Jeff Sessions Cannot Recall Visit to Senate Intelligence Committee Hearing

Descending the steps of the Capitol Building on Tuesday, Attorney General Jeff Sessions stopped abruptly in his tracks; he simply could not remember why he had visited his friends at the Senate Intelligence Committee that evening. “I know I walked in, we chatted for a while, and then we went our separate ways. I just can’t seem to recall the actual content of those discussions,” Sessions sighed, shaking his head.

Even in retracing his steps to the Senate committee room, the former senator found himself repeatedly confused, frequently getting lost in the Senate hallways. “I couldn’t recall if I’d passed by Senator Rubio once, twice, or, hell, as many as three times!” He laughed before falling abruptly silent.

The dismayed Sessions admitted he should have asked for a debrief from Richard Burr, the committee chairman, immediately following the visit, but the Attorney General held back. “I should’ve just asked. Real point-blank, like ‘Hey Richard, what’s this about again?’ But the room was clearing out and I didn’t want to seem out of place.”

Some members on the Senate Intelligence Committee voiced support for a suggestion from Senator Kamala Harris, who advised the Attorney General to look through his calendars and e-mails to help explain the visit. Mr. Sessions thanked the senator for her input, but expressed doubt that such a move would uncover “any pertinent information.”

Other committee members recommended the Attorney General speak with his friend James Comey, who reportedly took detailed notes of most appearances around Capitol Hill. Upon hearing of his colleague’s dilemma, Mr. Comey even volunteered to take notes for Mr. Sessions on his next visit, in the event the lawman’s memory failed him once again. Though Mr. Sessions extended his gratitude to Mr. Comey for the offer, he stated reservations about the specifics of Mr. Comey’s note-taking methods.

The attorney general eventually navigated himself to the committee room, only to find an empty dais and scattered press credentials. Mr. Sessions expressed discomfort at the clutter about the room, but felt it was not his place to implicate any one person for the mess. “It’s something I’d like to talk about, certainly, but I’m not sure it would be appropriate of me,” he declared to the empty room.