Issue 14.7

Call for WUnderground Summer Interns!
10
May

Call for WUnderground Summer Interns!

Attention to all Wash U students still seeking summer internships! WUnderground, Wash U’s premier [only] satirical newspaper is in DESPERATE need of detail-negligent summer interns. Responsibilities will include writing coffee and fetching articles. This internship will be paid in the most valuable currency of all: experience (writing dick jokes). Below are some qualifications…
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New Study Abroad Programs Criticized as “Suspiciously Imperialist”
10
May

New Study Abroad Programs Criticized as “Suspiciously Imperialist”

A recently-revealed list of new study abroad programs has faced controversy and mixed reactions from the student body. While some students have responded positively to the programs - pointing out that it adds flexibility by opening up opportunities for different majors to go to new and exciting destinations - critics contend that the…
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Benevolent God Takes Away Our Pool Ladder Again
10
May

Benevolent God Takes Away Our Pool Ladder Again

Oh feebee lay litzergam. Pehpeh lou sul sul, gouhh... verna dehna! Ah, crushnah! Eckeh tahlwah moorlih aom yomwurbwleh. Como stadah kah blah na dah ahduwesteh deepwa spanewash deepla blah. Dis wompf es fredesche. Harva sol labaga along with hava so lawnumgm, hurdy furdy sarl-de-baggy. Yesh, ah fweegah fwaa. Boobasnot cuh-teek-a-loo awasa poa--baba, coman…
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Area Man Displeased About Release of Personal Information
10
May

Area Man Displeased About Release of Personal Information

Particularly when dealing with sensitive subject matter, WUnderground is committed to preserving the anonymity of the students we interview. We therefore find it necessary to publicly apologize to sophomore Jason Tang, who told us he felt that Holmes Lounge was overrated under the condition that we do not print his name. Tang, who is double majoring in Physics and Sociology, was…
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