WUnderground WashU's Premier (and only) satirical newspaper!
Particularly when dealing with sensitive subject matter, WUnderground is committed to preserving the anonymity of the students we interview. We therefore find it necessary to publicly apologize to sophomore Jason Tang, who told us he felt that Holmes Lounge was overrated under the condition that we do not print his name.
Tang, who is double majoring in Physics and Sociology, was worried that his friends would shun him for speaking ill of Holmes’ wide selection of carvery
meats, as well as its famous Bada Bing rolls. Because his friends all have no class from 12–1:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, they find that Holmes is the best location to relax and catch up with each other. Tang told us he enjoyed spending his free time with those friends, particularly Stacey Newman, whom he’s had a crush on since they took Econ 1011 together freshman spring, but just wishes they would meet at a quality eatery like Subway instead.
“I mean, what even is Coca-Cola flank steak?” Tang, a resident of Westchester, New York, said. “Wait, you said this was all off-the-record, right? If you publish my name, I won’t be able to leave my room for a week out
of shame.”
The room Tang referenced was Gregg 2040, in which he regularly fights with his roommate Eli Baxter over how many times per month one should take a shower. Tang demanded we not tell you this information, nor that we tell you that his Social Security number is 253-78-9285. Again, we offer Tang our utmost apologies for this snafu.
Tang can be reached at (914) 761-0023 for further comments.
