Well, if it isn’t the belle of the ball. In a stunning display of injustice, Mom and Dad–I mean someone else’s mom and dad–have lowered their standards for praise. Now, and here is the kicker, they haven’t lowered their standards for me, just my– I mean someone else’s–little brother. What’s ...
Read More »Duck, Duck, Canada Goose: How to Spot Which Students Will Overpay for Your Shitty Weed
Instagram – if they have any pictures from rooftop bars in Manhattan, they’re loaded and just smoking to look cool; slide in those DMs. Management 101 – Keep an eye out for any Armani suits. Actually, you can just keep an ear out. They will bring it up. Wallace Garage ...
Read More »Chancellor Andrew Martin and Monica Lewinsky Celebrate Kwanzaa at WashU
We outsourced this article to ChatGPT and asked it to write a funny story about the title subject. Remember, AI will steal your job, then your quirky side passions. Chancellor Andrew Martin and Monica Lewinsky were both in for a surprise when they arrived at Washington University in St. Louis ...
Read More »Ask WUnderground: Advice Column
Dear WUnderground, Any advice on finding a boyfriend for this Christmas season? Sarah Hi, Sarah, We at WUnderground know how difficult it can be for holiday-loving lonely hearts. It seems like the only Christmas lovers are Tinder users Zach, 19, promising to “put the toe in mistletoe” and Mac, ...
Read More »A Sprinkle of Hate this Holiday Season
Sexually aroused, confused, comforted, disturbed, deaf in one ear…alone. I felt all these things and more post-attending my first college a capella concert. Sitting in the pews of a place where a funeral had occurred a week ago, I assured myself nothing could be worse than that. I wish ...
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