The Career Center recently announced that the opening of Starbucks in McKelvey Hall will also double as an internship program specifically targeted at the University’s political science majors.  “Starbucks will be great for these students,” said Mark Goldstein, a spokesperson for the Career Center. “It’s a pretentious enough environment so we know they…

Last Spring, Tinder, the most popular dating cough self-indulgent, masturbatory swiping cough platform among young adults, introduced a feature allowing users to indicate whether they had been vaccinated against COVID-19. Now, the company has pivoted and released an update allowing users to indicate whether they have an active COVID-19 infection.    “It’s been…

Andrew D. Martin. The enigma. Many wonder how he handles his prestigious responsibilities. Sources close to the Chancellor have informed WUnderground that he has been suffering from insomnia since taking up his administration last year. They also sent us the following transcript of his conversation with his psychiatrist. MARTIN: You see, doc, I’ve…