First Year Center Selects Communist Manifesto For Summer Book Program

Surprising many, First Year Chancellor Harry Pollack announced this past Friday that “Manifesto of the Communist Party” by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels will be the subject for the annual freshmen summer book program.

“Our goal for the freshmen summer book program is to expose students to new and potentially challenging ideas as a primer for their college experience,” said Pollack in a school-wide announcement. We’re super excited for incoming students to read the manifesto and hopefully learn more about the immortal principles of Karl Marx and Vladimir Lenin, as well as the ruthless exploitation of the common laborer.”

In addition to reading the book, freshmen will have the opportunity to hear a lecture from the president of the Washington University entitled “Crushing the Capitalist Power Structure.”

As of presstime, capitalist swine across campus have been seen shaking in their boots. Revolution is imminent, comrades. Escape free from your chains and never give up hope.