Volume 20

01

Nov

Advice Column: “I Skipped National GF Day… Now I Can’t Celebrate National BF Day”

Dear Men, If you are celebrating National BF Day, congratulations! You didn’t make my critical error. On National GF Day this year, well, I skipped it. I don’t remember if I forgot or thought it would be funny, but either way, I remember it didn’t go well. It turns out that not celebrating…

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01

Nov

WUnderHoroscope

Aries: March 21 - April 19: You see that guy behind you? You don’t? He’s right there. Behind you. Right there. He’s coming closer. Oh wait that’s just your shadow. Taurus: April 20 – May 20: Don’t trust your gut today. Your tapeworm has bad judgment.  Gemini: May 21- June 21: That dog…

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01

Nov

Taylor Swift Attends WashU Football Game, Goes Completely Unnoticed

Nashville-based country singer Taylor Swift was reportedly present at last week’s WashU football game against Illinois Wesleyan University. Though the entire team corroborates the story, there is a suspicious lack of witnesses to the attendance of the daughter of successful stockbroker Scott Kingsley Swift who were not athletes or coaching staff. “You’d think…

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01

Nov

Seigles, DUCs, and Crows: Examining WashU’s Weird Thing With Birds

Seigle Hall. The DUC. Crow Hall. These are the names of some of the most iconic spaces on WashU’s campus. And also the physics building. But I’m gonna drop a truth bomb on you guys: these are also all the names of BIRDS!!! (if you pronounce them out loud and reeeeally squint at…

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01

Nov

OP ED: Sentiments of a Pant-Shitter

To make this article easier for me to write and you to read, I’ll cut to the chase: I can’t keep my underpants clean. But the stench is not nearly enough to keep my peers away from me at all times, so I figured I’d put it into writing to make sure it…

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