Uncategorized – Page 12

26

Mar

Sniper Planning on “Taking Out” Girlfriend for Valentine’s Day

Recently returned from a tour of duty in Afghanistan, US Army Sniper Sgt. Eric Wexler has reportedly been dropping hints that he plans on “taking out” his longtime girlfriend Kim Harris on Valentine’s Day this year. “Ever since we got back from Afghanistan, all he can talk about is how excited he is…

26

Mar

10 Signs Your Girlfriend is Cheating on You

1.) She has a cellphone. 2.) She answers emails from her private email server 3.) She holds the door open for unsuspecting strangers 3b). She stayed back to talk to the professor office hours 4.) She knows how to give suspiciously good back rubs, as if she's been practicing with THAT NO GOOD…

26

Mar

The WUnderground Award-Season Rundown

Well it’s that time of year again: porno awards season! Hollywood is abuzz with buzz, and critics are slurping up films like particularly delicious semen. Female pornstars are dressing up real nice, and male pornstars are showing off their finest designer assless chaps. Redheaded pornstars finally get to walk down a carpet that…

26

Mar

Student Taxidermy Club Forced To Shutter After Discovery of “Josh From K4” Exhibit

ST LOUIS- Reports of strange activity linked to members of Beary Stiff, the campus taxidermy club, were met with further investigation after maintenance staff stumbled upon a preserved student corpse on Friday afternoon. Sources say that freshman student Josh Tambor was found mummified in a 2nd floor Olin study room, nursing a crusted…

26

Mar

Freshman Girl Discovers 150 “Long-lost Sisters;” Confronts Parents

Last weekend, upon accepting a bid to Wash U’s Gamma Upsilon Chapter of the Theta Omega Epsilon International Women’s Fraternity, freshman Ariella Rosenfeld made an alarming discovery: around 150 sisters, which she had not previously known to exist-- and they were all hers. Annie, who grew up ostensibly as an only child,…