What Your Most Frequented Dining Hall Says About You


Simply put, you thrift. You would rather stick a plastic Whispers fork in your eye than wear jeans that are not from Avalon. But for some reason you also are wearing those 300 dollar apple Beats by Dre around your neck like you’re from Shake it Up. Also you are in EST and your ass looks great in those pants.


  • What you should be insecure about: everyone can tell your parents are wealthy 



If you spend your free time in the DUC, you are likely part of the 1% of WashU students majoring in classics or poetry. You and your friends likely have a consistent table you sit at every day. All of your friends solely shop at American Eagle. I’d be surprised if you weren’t a vegetarian. 

  • What you should be insecure about: that people think you are really boring. 

Bears Den

Um… grow up? 


  • What you should be insecure about: that you are 12 and haven’t reached puberty 



You have literally never spoken a word out loud in your life. Never have sounds emerged from your vocal chords. 


  • What you should be insecure about: having a dell computer 



If you spend most of your time in Law, look in the mirror. If you are not wearing at least two articles of Lululemon, then the sky is not blue. Or you’re a law student. In that case, maybe stop reading an undergrad satirical newspaper and pick up a book.


  • What you should be insecure about: I’m not going to tell you because you probably already feel bad enough about yourself after getting yelled at about your choice of carvery in your wrap



If you hang out in Bauer you care an alarming amount about the WashU social hierarchy that you have crafted entirely in your head. You put 10 minutes of extra time picking out an outfit in the morning if you think you might end up at Bauer that day. You are an extremely social person, who, because of your enrollment in the B school, likely does not have much work and therefore can afford to spend most of your day chatting with your friends about this weekend’s fraternity formal. If you frequent Bauer there is a 0% chance you’re not from one of the coasts. 

  • What you should be insecure about: that your future career will involve exploiting people. 


You would take a picture of a literal brick against a wall and submit it for your final art portfolio.


  • What you should be insecure about: your future prospects



You just became a sophomore and think you’re sick for it and won’t eat literally anywhere else. Or you are one of the 7 football players at this school.


  • What you should be insecure about: your sweat stains after walking to the village everytime you want food during the day because you wouldn’t dare enter the DUC