While the author of these entries will remain a mystery, he leaves behind a groundbreaking legacy as one of the few business students of his time to become literate above a second grade level.

From the Archives: Diary of a B-Schooler

Editors’ note: the following excerpt was taken from a notebook unearthed in an Umrath study lounge. The WUnderground Archival Department has identified this artifact as a personal diary that once belonged to a freshman in the Olin School of Business.

Dear Diary,

Today I was in Bauer Hall doing work for Management 100 when I decided I wanted a large chai latte with whipped cream.  The line for Starbucks was long, but I had a craving for chai, so I decided to get in line anyways.  After fifteen minutes I finally got my drink, but when I took a sip I realized that there was no whipped cream.  Normally this wouldn’t upset me, but I had to stay up until midnight last night working really hard on MEC 290 and this morning I had two meetings so I’m really tired right now and just needed this drink from Starbucks to make me feel better but there’s no whipped cream and it’s made my day worse.  I hope tomorrow can be better.

Dear Diary,  

Between you and me, sometimes I think about doing consulting instead of investment banking.  I know that Father tells me my future is at Goldman Sachs, but I don’t know if I want to work such long hours as an adult, let alone if Goldman Sachs will even hire me considering I’m not even at an Ivy.  And at the end of the day do investment bankers contribute to society in any way other than continuing the circulation of money?  As a consultant I could help other companies do big things and make an impact on this world!  But Father tells me that the day a son of his goes into consulting is the day he sells his Tesla for a Toyota Camry, and I don’t want Father to sell his Tesla because I like when he lets me drive it.  

Well, Diary, I don’t know what to do.  Maybe my DSP Big Sarah would have some good advice for me.  She has been helpful in the past, like when I didn’t know how to create a line graph in Excel.  I’ll talk to her Wednesday after Chapter.

Dear Diary,

Today I was in the Bhambri Family Study Room working on Management 100 when the pretty girl from my MEC 290 class walked in.  I guess she didn’t know I was in there because when she saw me, she blushed and said, “Sorry.”  I said, “Oh, it’s fine,” and was about to say more but she turned and left before the words could leave my mouth. I wish we could’ve had a conversation but I guess she didn’t want to talk to a normal guy like me.  My friend Alex, who is in Sam Fox, tells me that I should add more color to my wardrobe.  I wouldn’t do that because I’m scared to seem out of place in Bauer, but sometimes I do think, ‘What would it be like to wear a green Patagonia on top of blue Ralph Lauren corduroys with the ends cuffed and a pair of dirty Converse on my feet?’  Maybe I’ll do that and then transfer to Sam Fox and study architecture. Haha, Father would not like that.

Anyways, I haven’t told my DSPhriends about this girl because I’ve seen her wearing AKPsi letters and I don’t know how they would react.  I know that it shouldn’t really matter that we’re in different business fraternities, but I can’t help but wonder if my DSPhriends would all together abandon me for this, just like they did Jimmy for liking How I Met Your Mother.  It’s a good thing they’ll never hear about this diary, let alone discover I know how to read and write!