Breaking: Invisible Hand Broken

Breaking: Invisible Hand Broken

Gas is $5. It’s impossible to buy a home. Inflation this. Recession that. Something about the Dow? For months, economists have been scratching their heads trying to figure out the reason for America’s economic woes. Finally, the root cause has been determined: the Invisible Hand is broken.  For centuries, the Invisible Hand guided…
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BREAKING NEWS: Governor Parson Can’t Find the Clit

BREAKING NEWS: Governor Parson Can’t Find the Clit

Remember when the current Missouri governor, Mike Parson, was the only statewide elected official to accept gifts from a lobbyist in his first six months in office? We finally know what all that money was going towards! Parson recently released the first ever Operation Uterus board game. With this game, Parson and his…
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All the Emails I Receive in a Week from the WashU CS Department

All the Emails I Receive in a Week from the WashU CS Department

Hi CSE students and faculty! Please avoid the second floor men’s bathroom for now. Thanks! (^this was a real email from 3/23/23)   CSE Students, WashU’s Women in Computer Science (WiCS) chapter is hosting an “Ex(xonMobil) Night.” Bring a picture of your ex to burn, and then listen to women who have used…
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A Guide to Going Out in St. Louis: Female Edition

Ah. So you want to go out in, I think it sounds lovelier in Spanish, the “most violentè Ciudad in America.” Perhaps your dad paid a proctor $50,000 dollars to inflate your ACT scores and you got into WashU. Maybe your employment at a canine food company brought you here. Perhaps you tried…
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