The Boy Scouts of America recently announced their decision to accept girls, raising concerns over the future of partner organization Girl Scouts of America. "In response to changing definitions of gender identities, we think it would be best to focus on the interests of our creative, socially lethargic young scouts," announced President Scott…

According to sources, the spirit of chief strategist Steven Bannon was forcibly expelled from the White House on Friday after staffers recited an incantation purging the West Wing of Mr. Bannon’s ghost. “There was just this horrible screeching,” remarked one advisor witness to Mr. Bannon’s expulsion. Bannon, a seventh century netherdaemon who served…

As thousands of Americans scramble to get their hands on a pair of the coveted eclipse glasses recommended by scientists for safe viewing of the rare solar event, anti-bullying groups across the country are wringing their hands over the likely spike in wedgies, swirlies, and verbal zingers as the nation’s bespectacled population skyrockets…

Extended family members of Anthony Scaramucci cited a growing concern on Friday over the New York businessman's latest obsession: claiming that spouse, Deidre Scaramucci, is in fact his political rival Reince Preibus. "You would think he’d cut the bullshit after I got him canned but no! Now he's in my house!” Scaramucci shouted…

According to local reports, White House staffers voiced concerns on Tuesday regarding a controversial addition to the West Wing: a secretarial intern who bears a striking resemblance to Special Council Robert Mueller. The intern, seventy-two-year old Mobert Bueller, undoubtedly shares many of the investigator’s physical traits; from his trademark crow’s feet to sunken…