Upon heavy request, Wash U’s Philosophy Department has begun the process of rebranding to WGSSBFM (Women, Gender and Sexuality Studies, But For Men). The university states that they hope this change will encourage white men to freely express their opinions at any time, whether prompted to or not. “I think this will open…

“I just wanted to throw in a fat hogger,” complained Alpha Phi sister Ainsley Ambrose after she was expelled from chapter for pulling out a tin of Grizzly. Ainsley’s incident is the latest in a string of conflicts that have arisen from the WashU sorority’s recent dipping ban. Alpha Phi national representative Brooke…

Representatives of the Olin Business School announced this week that they will start using a new strategy for attracting prospective students: emphasizing their robust alumni network in Hell. “The Olin Business School provides students with unparalleled access to leaders and innovators in a diverse range of morally repugnant industries,” said Sarah Uecker. “Our…

Oh my god. This is so cute. According to insider reports, First-Years Ryan Shoecrest and Isabelle Greenheart shared a meal at Ibby’s Restaurant this past Thursday evening, like an actual adult couple. This is just too precious. The two approached the DUC dressed in what are likely the nicest clothes they have—Isabelle in…

By Snobby Professor Guy Pfaw.  Bees.  Bees? Bees?   An abomination upon this planet.  I cannot wait until they are all dead. Allow me to elaborate.  I am smart. Classy. Intelligent.  So when I say that bees are to be abhorred and exterminated, you should make privy your ears and listen closely.   For…