Shame on you, the know-it-all that you are! I bestow upon you a problem and, look, there it is, the answer! You reduce my most pressing adversities to subjects of analytical dissections, stripping them of their depth and complexity. You act as if you have the keys to the universe, the omniscience of…

WashU’s little-known illiteracy club launches into the public eye as they begin a new campus-wide media campaign. Students report sightings of flyers across campus, on bulletin boards, in bathroom stalls, and wedged between chicken and fries in a dining hall dish which wishes to remain anonymous.    But what is perhaps more interesting…

Following the successes of programs like WashU Wash and WaterDrop’d, the Skandalaris Center has elected to open yet another business directed towards its prime clientele, the children of the one percent. This new small business, known as “Sue the Poors”, will provide an indispensable service to WashU students, by opening defamation suits against…