Volume 19

Skandalaris Center Launches New “Sue the Poors” Service
27
Oct

Skandalaris Center Launches New “Sue the Poors” Service

Following the successes of programs like WashU Wash and WaterDrop’d, the Skandalaris Center has elected to open yet another business directed towards its prime clientele, the children of the one percent. This new small business, known as “Sue the Poors”, will provide an indispensable service to WashU students, by opening defamation suits against…
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People Watching
27
Oct

People Watching

“Eccentric” fails to capture the men of Tinder. They like dogs. They can quote The Office. They eat food. They are not like the rest of us, and therefore require a girl of a certain quality. A girl able to rise above the curse of her basic, homogeneous gender. Someone, dare I say,…
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27
Oct

Top 10 Reasons We’re Enemies

10. you laughed too hard at my self-deprecating joke 9. You asked me where Bolivia was in front of people 8. When i asked you if this dress made my ass look fat you said no 7. When i asked you if this dress made my ass look fat in 2011 you said…
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Now That’s What I Call the Absence of Music
27
Oct

Now That’s What I Call the Absence of Music

Who knew a boy named Travis finding inspiration at an amusement park called Six Flags Astroworld in the late 90s would result in a WashU sophomore looking down at her phone and being overwhelmed with a sense of mild disappointment in 2022. A Butterfly Effect indeed. Fall Wild has been cancelled, and thusly…
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