Issue 19.2 – WUnderground

01

Dec

A Tent-ative Solution

There was once a giant tent in the middle of Mudd Field. Only real ones remember. Then the COVID-testing tent was vanquished and the power to test for COVID was returned to the people, who immediately commenced gleefully swabbing their noses in the middle of Stanley’s. However, those of us who hoped that…

WUPD Abandons “Confused” Drug-Sniffing Dogs

01

Dec

WUPD Abandons “Confused” Drug-Sniffing Dogs

WUPD’s new drug-sniffing dogs had barely been on campus for a week when they were pulled from duty, with WUPD citing “inaccuracy” as the main factor in their removal. To the officers’ disbelief, the dogs instantly tried to go to frat row. At first the police laughed it off and attempted to pull…

01

Dec

Parents Weekend Musts

Parents' weekend happened. And maybe your parents had too good a time and are planning on going next year. Here’s a 17.5 hour itinerary that will be sure to make your parents think twice about buying a “mama bear” sweatshirt in the campus bookstore next year. Take them to Hillel with you for…

Fraternities as Training for Your First Year Summer as a Camp Counselor

01

Dec

Fraternities as Training for Your First Year Summer as a Camp Counselor

There’s currently so much pressure to have an internship to get you ready for Goldman starting your first summer, but when the career coaches tell you it’s no worries, they just want to make their jobs easier! And they do. Despite your greatest efforts, you’ll probably get that $800 camp counselor job if…

01

Dec

Love-Hate Relationship

Shame on you, the know-it-all that you are! I bestow upon you a problem and, look, there it is, the answer! You reduce my most pressing adversities to subjects of analytical dissections, stripping them of their depth and complexity. You act as if you have the keys to the universe, the omniscience of…