18.1

Top 10 Sharks
15
Oct

Top 10 Sharks

Great white Okay white Left shark The one from Shark Tales my dad thinks is gay Me when the kids at the local pool ask me to be the shark in their sharks and minnows game The one that raced Michael Phelps (and won!) Mark Cuban The one whose teeth are now trinkets…
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We Sent the Boss Baby to the Maternity Ward to Train the Newbies
15
Oct

We Sent the Boss Baby to the Maternity Ward to Train the Newbies

According to the CDC, nearly 4 million babies are born every year in the U.S. That’s nearly three times the size of the U.S. military. However, this high birth rate means little to nothing considering how weak, dumb, and wrinkly the vast majority of babies are. But what if we had a way…
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My Interview With the Anti-LARPing Movement
15
Oct

My Interview With the Anti-LARPing Movement

This past weekend, a group of concerned citizens gathered around the Koenig lawn to obstruct the training session of the Belegarth Medieval Combat Society, or what the protestors refer to as ‘LARPers”. I asked around to get a better understanding of their diverse grievances. “Every Saturday I look out from my Koenig window…
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Student Hits Devious Lick on COVID-Testing Tent
15
Oct

Student Hits Devious Lick on COVID-Testing Tent

Freshman Jared Small was seen fleeing campus late Thursday evening with the Mudd Field COVID-testing tent tucked under his arm. A video of the contraband appeared on Small’s TikTok video app account later the same day with the caption “just hit the most diabolical lick 👅🤩😈🎪.” All 14 of Small’s followers “liked” the…
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