Issue 15.8

25

Apr

THE MUELLER REPORT LEAKED! Here’s What We Know

The Mueller Report was finished up on Friday, March 22nd, and so far, the Justice Department has done a surprisingly good job of keeping its contents under wraps. Attorney General and stock photo of a white businessman William Barr has sent a short summary of the report to Congress, informing them that the…

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25

Apr

WashU Announces Innovative Plan to Increase Economic Diversity

No one can deny WashU’s strengths as an academic institution. Boasting some of the best faculty in the world and vibrant extracurriculars the university is frequently ranked among the most elite in the nation. There is, however, one category in which WashU has nearly always ranked very close to last: socioeconomic diversity. A…

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25

Apr

St. Louis Style Modifications

Surprised by St. Louis style bagels? Here are some other 'St. LOuis style' modifications you haven't heard of: 1. St. Louis style beach vacation No coastline? No problem! The banks of the Mississippi offer the same waterfront fun without any of the hassle of sand, nice weather, non toxic water, or happiness. 2.…

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24

Apr

New Study Finds Kids with Fairy God Parents Still Total Fucking Losers

Researchers at Johns Hopkins published results of a two-year study on Monday concluding that kids with fairy god parents are still “complete fucking dweebs.” The study, which highlights data collected from state-wide surveys, announced “the arbitrary reception of magical companions does not counteract defects in chill factor.” Those involved in the report considered…

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24

Apr

Op-Ed: Boycott Taylor Swift

It’s hard to avoid megastar Taylor Swift. With six full-length albums, ten Grammy awards, and millions of fans worldwide, there is no doubt that “T-Swift” is a household name. Whether you love her or hate her, you know who she is and what she does. But is there more to this pop sensation…

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