St. Louis Style Modifications

Surprised by St. Louis style bagels? Here are some other ‘St. LOuis style’ modifications you haven’t heard of:

1. St. Louis style beach vacation

No coastline? No problem! The banks of the Mississippi offer the same waterfront fun without any of the hassle of sand, nice weather, non toxic water, or happiness.

2. St. Louis style college students

If you’re looking for someone with the entitlement and pretension of an Ivy League student, but with marginally less academic prestige, look no further! The St. Louis style college student comes with a full serving of stress culture and a hefty lack of appreciation or awareness of their surroundings. We’re so self-centered, we conflated “St. Louis college students” with “WashU students” because we don’t give a single flying fuck about SLU, UMSL, or Fontbonne!

3. St. Louis style police

*Our editors made us cut this one. Too controversial for our tastes, but be sure to check out our Top Ten Worst Genocides to Enter as a Straight White Male!

4. St. Louis style Tinder

If you’ve been swiping in another city and searching for a Mr. Right that once caught a really big fish, then look no further! St. Louis has got you covered. These men got big fish! And that’s not the only big thing they’re willing to send pictures of. 😉 They also gotta a preeeeetty big rifle.

5. St. Louis style seance

Like your average seance except someone’s mom baked a tray of gooey butter cake and you tried to call your dead aunt, but you couldn’t reach her over the musical stylings of the ghost of Chuck Berry.

6. St. Louis style Panera Bread

They may call it Bread Co., but that broccoli cheddar bread bowl is guaranteed to give you equal levels of indigestion!