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25

Mar

Is Your Roommate Rich?

Dear Callan, So my roommate and I have never been particularly close, but after the SES report about WashU came out, I’m starting to think she might be a 1%-er. But I’m not sure how to tell? Are there signs I should be looking for? -Rich Roomie Quan     Dear RRQ, A…

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04

Nov

A Guide to Networking

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04

Nov

Junior Wakes up Face-First in a Ditch, Still Pretty Confident he Remembers Fall WILD

Pulling his face from the caked mud of a drainage ditch two doors down from his off-campus apartment, junior Justin Navarro told reporters that he definitely remembers making it to fall WILD this year. “Oh yeah, I was totally there,” Navarro said, picking pebbles out of his hair and tripping over empty cans…

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04

Nov

United States Admits Half of Existing Conspiracies True; Conspiracy Theorists Vindicated

The U.S. government released a statement on Tuesday confirming that exactly half of all existing conspiracy theories are true, surprising many and filling others with a smug sense of satisfaction. The entire nation has been discussing the comprehensive 1,543-page report confirming and denying various conjectures. Many conspiracy theorists, both amateur and professional, expressed…

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04

Nov

Campus Embroiled in Controversy After Sorority Girl Fails to Instagram Darty

With midterm season now over, students have embarced “darty season,” with at least 4 Saturday-afternoon bangers being held last weekend. However, a fun weekend has turned into a sour week as controversy surrounds campus about whether Junior Danielle Horowitz attended the weekend festivities after she failed to document the event on Instagram. “I’ve…

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