Issue 16.4

20

Dec

Kanye West Enters New ‘Bad’ Phase in Artistry

Kanye West has never been afraid to push boundaries in the music industry. He pioneered “chipmunk soul” production on The College Dropout, paved the way for emotionally vulnerable rap on 808s and Heartbreak, and showed the world it was okay to be a narcissistic psychopath on My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. With the…

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20

Dec

Satirical Paper Publishes Entire Article of Just Scatting

Editor’s Note: One of Our Co-Presidents, really, really did not want this article published, for fear that it would ruin the “integrity” of our publication. But in a moment of triumph in this world of darkness, the voices of the powerless masses rose in a blissful chorus, and the staff ignited meaningful change. Without further…

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20

Dec

Op-Ed: I Think That’s Problematic

I think those views are very problematic. For one thing, they have issues. For another thing, they contain all sorts of flaws. It is a logical fallacy to believe those views. Moreover, the person who has those views is extremely problematic. Their worldview is skewed. They are a problematic figure because there are…

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20

Dec

Skymall Presents: White Noise Machine for Realists

From the makers of the original White Noise Machine designed to lull users into a gentle slumber, Skymall presents a new and revolutionary White Noise Machine for Realists. The product is set to hit stores this December, complete with several new pragmatic, true-to-life settings. For the environmentalists out there, the machine’s first new…

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20

Dec

Trump Pardons McChicken Sandwich He Was Going to Eat

In a moment of deep and profound mercy, President Donald Trump decided to pardon the McChicken he had planned on eating in honor of the Thanksgiving Holiday. Citing his Christian faith and sudden hankering for a McFish, Trump announced that he would allow the McChicken sandwich, a processed and somewhat ambiguous amalgam of…

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