28

Jan

Markets Tumble as Gak Prices Plummet to 13-Year Low

Gak prices fell below $2.00 per gallon across most of the country last weekend, sending consumers rushing to load up on the oozy, green substance. The price drop comes as slime futures trade below $30 a barrel for the first time in more than a decade, driven down by an oversupply of the…

Read More

26

Jan

Ask WUnderground: Should I Hook Up with my Friend’s Ex?

Read More

11

Jan

WUnderground’s Tips for Sorority Rush

Sorority Rush is right around the corner, so you need to follow these essential tips if you want to get a bid! 1. Start prepping for when you accept your bid -- get that liver to work! An essential part of the new member process includes forced drinking, so make sure to get a good…

Read More

01

Dec

WUnderground Through the Ages

We were too lazy to come up with another new article for this issue, so here’s some of our best work from the last few millennia of WUnderground.   June 3rd, 1453 - Study abroad in Constantinople canceled after city sieged “Our big concern is that credits earned under the Ottoman curriculum may…

Read More

01

Dec

An Open Letter to Chancellor Wrighton

Dear Chancellor Wrighton,   On behalf of everyone here at WUnderground, we would like to apologize. We’ve been harsh to you over the years, unfairly so, and it’s time to right our wrongs. Though WUnderground is Wash U’s premier [only] satirical newspaper, there is a line when it comes to poking fun at…

Read More