After the April 14th walkout in support of adjunct professors was cancelled due to an agreement between the administration and employees, social justice warrior Bryan Bergson is now searching for additional reasons to boycott class. “What happened on this campus on April 14th was an outrage,” claimed Bergson. “As student activists, we demand…

With three weeks still remaining before graduation, reports from Brookings Quad indicate that the first sets of grandparents have already arrived to save front-row seats for the ceremony. Their numbers vary as many come and go from the Quad to make frequent trips to the Holmes Lounge soup bar, but estimates put the…

After hours of begging, freshman Alan Block finally got permission from his RA to keep his prefrosh as a pet, so long as he promises to feed him and walk him and love him forever and ever. “The little guy just showed up outside my door last week, and we just had to…

The cum trees — or “jizz trees” as they are colloquially known — of Washington University have recently come under fire for infringing on the campus’s status as a safe space. Students have argued that the trees are olfactorily offensive and help promote white masculine ideals. “I don’t like being the person to…

After recent accusations of various forms of exclusion, including misogyny, racism, and homophobia, one of Wash U's social fraternities has clarified that it is not indeed homophobic. IFC has not released the name of the offending fraternity yet, but yes, it’s the one you’re thinking of. “This isn’t just one or two brothers either,” the…